we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
