First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
