Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
