I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
