She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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