I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
