I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
