I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
