Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
