Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
