would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
