i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there was a trapeze. enough said
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
