Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
