trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So squirting runs in the family.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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