Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
