butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
