so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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