I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
