census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
