Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
