I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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