I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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