Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
