so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
