You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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