On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
