the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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