I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
