ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
