apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
