It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
