Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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