if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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