I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
