i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
