he shaved USA in his pubs
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
