IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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