Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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