I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
