I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
