Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
