i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm just crazy horny about you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
