Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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