Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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