we have officially lost it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
