I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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