Tell her she can't have a vagina
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
