Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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