The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
