What did we do last night that was yellow?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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